Night .

This night, I realised that I'm 22 years old. Sometimes, I wish to turn back time. I wish I could just be a litte kid again :') so many thing I want to change if I have second chance. But at the end, I just accept my destiny. I'm just love being me. Everytime I want to tell the truth, I've just been avoiding everything. 

I felt lost when my friend told me everything should be fine.  Feels like they know me very well. Please don't say you know me, when I don't even know myself :')

I think I'm afraid of being happy because everytime I'm happy, something bad always happens. But that is life, right?

Feeling upset, because when I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but once I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget :(

Sometimes I thought, there is only one rain cloud in the sky, and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised :(

Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand . I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.

Have you ever lived in my life, have you ever spent one minute, just one minute in my shoes? If you haven't, then tell me why you judge me like you do? :'(

I don't know what I want in this life. I don't know want I want right now. All I know is that, I'm hurting so much inside that seems like it's enjoy eating me. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't even know what I supposed to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more .